American

I am on a Gluten-Full Diet, the anti-Gluten-Free Diet

Caution: That delicious loaf of bread in front of you is full of Gluten. Give it to me and I will eat it for you.

Big Bad Gluten is coming to get you!

I love GLUTEN! Yeah I said it! I should not have to feel ashamed to eat a cheesy garlic bread! When I’m at the gym all I hear is people talking about their organic, gluten-free diet and it makes me want to eat a grilled cheese sandwich. A year ago the same gym rats were on an ALL gluten diet and they look pretty much the same as last year, soooo that being said, I don’t see how the gluten-free portion is complimenting their diet.

Don't stand between a man and his cheesy bread!

Don’t stand between a man and his cheesy bread!

Okay, I get it. Gluten-free is a new trend. What is Gluten-Free? I think a lot of people jumping on the band wagon don’t even know what they’re getting into. Gluten-free is a diet that excludes gluten, a protein composite found in wheat and grains. Whew, okay so what does that mean for me? It means absolutely nothing. Gluten-free is meant for individuals who have celiac disease which is when “gluten” causes discomfort and damage to the small intestine. This is a hereditary disease, meaning that it’s not contagious.

This post is not about individuals who have celiac disease. I am happy that there is an alternative for them! This is for the bandwagon being scammed into believing that Gluten-Free has changed their lives but in reality its a marketing scheme. Companies are cashing out on health fanatics and the gullible/naive..

Honestly, I tried gluten-free bread before and it did not change the way I fart or use the bathroom. I did not notice any change in my body at all. It was the same ol same ol. I just wasted 7 bucks on a small loaf of bread that normally costs me 2.99! Give me a break! Plus the bread was dry and lacked flavor. I don’t like to waste food so I feed the pigeons the loaf of bread. They did not seem to like it much either. BTW NYC Pigeons eat anything, well I guess not anything!

Pigeon is wearing a Gluten-Free Bread Necklace

Pigeon is wearing a Gluten-Free Bread Necklace

I’ve also tried gluten-free recipes like “2 ingredient pancakes” which does not include any flour. It was a mashed banana with eggs. It was the worse pancakes I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve also tried cauliflower pizza. This was not bad except the part where I wished a regular pizza was in place of it.

hmmm yummy cheesy pizza with Gluten! Just the way I like it.

hmmm yummy cheesy pizza with Gluten! Just the way I like it.

Okay, I’m talking a lot of crap. I’ve actually spoken with people through social media and gluten-free has changed their intestinal discomfort. Some of the individuals were not officially diagnosed with celiac disease but noticed a changed after making the switch.

That does not mean that gluten-free is healthier for you! Advertising conveys a message that gluten-free improves your health but it’s actually the opposite. Gluten-free products lack nutrients! A healthy balance of gluten can actually improve triglycerides and blood pressure. It also supports healthy bacteria in the digestive system which reduces inflammation. Taking out the gluten means your adding more fat and sugar to your body! Gluten-free products include more calories, sugar and fat so it can no way possible be a healthier alternative.

Gluten free does not lead to weight loss but rather an increase in weight!

I’m not saying don’t go gluten-free, especially if it works for you. What I’m saying is, if you don’t need it, stop acting like gluten-free changed your life when it didn’t! Go have yourself a piece of bread with some hummus and stfu.

hummus table

You should be eating this rather than that gluten free crap

4 replies »

  1. I can’t express how much I concur with this post. After a ten miler or a weekend half marathon… I head straight to the nearby pizza place and have a whole pizza…full of gluten, and dairy. No wrong…extra, extra- dairy (read tons of cheese!)…and some spicy potato wedges (more starchy gluten I suppose) 🙂
    And oh! I did read all about celiac disease in second and third year of med school….
    I love me some gluten!!

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